What Representation Means to Me.

     There's apparently these things called windows and mirrors. No, not the glass pieces, but kind of the same thing. This term of mirrors and windows is meant to represent how different media portrays different people. Mirrors are stories that reflect your culture/reality and help you understand yourself. This means for me seeing black girls with curly hair, ballerinas with different body types, etc. Windows are books, movies, art, etc that let us see other people's experience. In order to be a understanding society, we need both. I started this conversation with my school's diversity director way back in the beginning of the summer of my Sophomore year. I was aching to find an important topic to talk about in my Junior speech that upcoming fall. I kind of wish I would've stuck to this topic. (Although I loved my topic, if you read THIS post you'll understand why I wish I would've kept the original.) 

     I've always known how important windows were. Maybe not as the term, but as a naturally empathetic person being able to properly learn about other people's experiences helps me really see where they are coming from. Through windows we are able to consider a persons motivation behind saying what they are saying. We can also better understand the needs of people when we know where they are coming from. Windows allow us to understand why people think the thoughts, say the things, and respond to situations the way they do. Windows also help us be more aware of ourselves. We can better understand what people think of us based off of our words and actions, this can help tremendously with unspoken communication with people. Basically Windows are the best thing for navigating conversation. 

     However, we can not have windows without having mirrors. Like , it's pretty weird to have them separately. I don't think I really understood the true importance of mirrors in a child's life until just a few weeks ago. As the Olympics paraded across my screen floods of posts of inspired young athletes flooded my timeline. I realized that this might've been the first time young female athletes had seen the spotlight put on other female athletes. It created a sense of 'If she can do this, I can do that too!'

      The thing about mirrors and windows is that it's not just about ethnicity. My mirror isn't just about seeing a black girl on television. It's about seeing divorced parents that get along, it's about girls who love school, and suddenly having quadruple the siblings that you've had for 14 years suddenly in one month. (Maybe not exactly this!) the importance of mirrors is that everyone can get get hooked on a media source because they see themselves represented. 

I've also learned that mirrors are not just in media. People can be mirrors too. Just last Tuesday I was talking to a little girl and our conversation went like this;

Me: (drawing a picture of myself) And then I'm gonna give myself big curly hair

Her: but you don't have curly hair, your hair is in braids... Like me

Me: yeah, but when I take my hair out, or when I wet it, it get all curly (shows her a picture) 

Her: WAIT ME TOO

       It was in that moment that I realized that I could be a mirror to other young black girls. I was representation for her, in our predominantly white school. Just like myself, each and every one of us has the opportunity to be both a window and a mirror for someone else. We have the ability to both teach and inspire, and that's what's truly one of the most important things to me. 

The Bias for North vs. Blue Ivy

      Now I don't like to pit people against each other, especially two kids barely old enough to be in Kindergarten, but the internet sure does. Last Sunday, at the VMAs, hundreds of grown adults chose to sit behind their computer screen and waste their time calling Blue Ivy ugly. It's been happening since birth. From hearing my grandmother talk about how Beyoncé needed to comb out and flat iron Blue's hair to seeing article judging the way Blue Ivy acts, the Internet has not stopped judging this little girl since before she came out the womb. I love Blue. I think she is just trying to live her life as normally as one can when their parents are two of the biggest names in the world. She has tantrums, probably loves to play dress up, and in the end is just like every other five year old. But, back to the VMAs. Blue walks the red carpet with her mom in this gorgeous golden dress with two French braids and a tiara top fit her like the princess she is. And as usual, so many people are not pleased. They commented on everything from how her edges weren't laid properly, to the size of her nose, and even her eyebrow shape. (Which I'm sorry, do you want to put a five year old in a full face of makeup, so that she'll fit your standards, or will you just complain about that too?) Blue Ivy's criticism got out of hand. 

     That same night I came across all of the criticizing tweets, I saw many comparing her to Kim Kardashian-West and Kanye West's baby girl, North, or Nori as she's affectionately called. She is also gorgeous, and the Internet knows that. One tweet I read said that "Blue should take some lessons from North, that baby is gorgeous." I'm sorry, but how could you say something like that about two girls not old enough to have a Twitter. The problem is that the actual problem stems from more than people loving Nori more than Blue, it stems from a greater acceptance and sometimes even fetishization of mixed children. Nori is what many people would call the "perfect" black baby. Her complexion lies just golden enough without being dark, Her hair is just curly enough to be exotic without being unmanageable, and her tantrums are cute, not a young black girl with an attitude. Nori's mixed heritage gives her a boost that not many are completely aware of, but many subconsciously recognize. The reaction to Nori is just one case of people's obsession with mixed race babies. 

     As hopefully this topic comes up, I hope everyone remembers that practically every one of Blue Ivy's critiques are rooted in anti-blackness. Rooted in the belief that 100% black women/girls aren't as beautiful as those who are mixed. Also remember that these girls are children, North is three and Blue is five. Be mindful of how you talk about them, lest we help perpetuate the false belief that value is rooted in looks.